Ah... the pressures of having a blog...

It was brought to my attention by my newest reader and former BFF that I don't blog everyday and therefore leave her with a hole in her day. Apparently, I am single-handedly responsible for taking up a few minutes of her time at work and without my witty musings she is forced to...well...work I guess. My apologies, Michele and I suggest you check out YouTube for cute videos about chiwawas on those days I don't blog. Try this one.
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During the same conversation, someone asked me what the "theme" of my blog was. Hmm... theme? Am I suppose to have a theme? Really? I'm gonna have to think about that one and get back to you on it.

Of course the hardest part of blogging isn't that I really have nothing interesting to say.. you all know that already. I should end all my stories with "...and then I found 5 bucks" to make it seem at least slightly interesting but not many of you would be fooled. No, the hardest part is remembering who reads this stuff and making sure that I don't say something wrong. Hockey Boy reads it so I try not to ramble on about.. well, stuff that might make him blush. And if I said anything that might make HIM blush, imagine what it would do to my daughter (who probably reads my blog in a quiet dark corner with lots of denial about her heritage) and my mom (who thankfully hasn't taught my father how to access my blog). I don't think I could say anything to embarrass the rest of you though you can rest assured that I will continue to try to think of something.

So... I continue to babble on about my life and thoughts in a somewhat watered-down version of reality... or maybe it's my life that is really watered-down... hey, wait.... is that a theme?

9 Essential travel supplies

My beautiful daughter drove home from Columbia, MO last week for a brief break before summer classes start. And since I taught her everything she knows about road trips, I got to thinking about travel necessities. Since most of you, six dear readers, have never had the privilege of being on a road trip with me, you may be lacking in the travel readiness department and I cannot, in any good consciousness, let that happen....so may I present...P's 9 travel essentials:

1. Chocolate donuts - aka "little plastic donuts". These are the perfect start to a road trip. The car isn't warm enough for them to get melty yet and there are exactly the perfect number in the package. Don't go for the boxed size unless you have a car full of people. Trust me you will eat as many of them as you have. Note: these little plastic tasting donuts are also good for hangover food but otherwise skip them or at least save time by rubbing them directly on your thighs.

2. A HUGE pizza - This is great travel food because you can enjoy it warm and then cold all day long. When you stop for the night you can eat it and then it makes a delightful breakfast on Day 2. Pizza, once again, proving that it is the perfect food.

3. Dog treats and a leash - This is essential even if you are not traveling with a dog. You never know when the universe will notice that you are traveling without a dog and present you with one on the side of the highway.

4. Six pack cooler - Obvious, of course, but here is what should be IN the cooler. Two bottles of water (one for me and one for my '97 Jetta), one beer (that's for when you stop for the day and are going to unwind in your hotel before you go in search of the closest liquor store ---the same theory as eating before grocery shopping), 3 cans of Sugar-free Red Bull (makes up for the chocolate donuts - your thighs will thank you)

5. A towel - NEVER travel without a towel...even short distances. If you have no idea why its important, you obviously are remiss in your literary journey and missed the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe (http://www.towelday.kojv.net/)

6. Little Black Book - I know you have all your numbers stored in your phone. I also know that you left your phone charger plugged in the wall at home. You will need to be able to call people along the journey for a variety of things: to pick you up when you break a doohicky belt and the garage cant order Jetta parts until Monday, to borrow bail money for excessive public /insert your specific vice here/, or to have someone fed ex you the freekin' phone charger.

7. Map - (and, apparently, this really should be a map of the place where you actually are or are going). Those of you with fancy schmancy GPS systems, can afford to be on a plane. Get off the road.

8. Coins for tolls - unlike McDonald's they wont usually take your debit card for $0.35

9. Lots of music - in the format of your choice (FM radio on the road is incredibly iffy -- unless you adore 80's music - which I do). I don't recommend books on tape (hard to look at the pictures while driving).

I will remind you, my 6 loyal readers, to take the road less travelled... though often it's less travelled for a good reason. Also that it is the journey that is important, not the destination...which is a good attitude to have if you forget #7.

Mother's Day

It figures that my blog entry about Mothers Day would be two days late. I have been so busy BEING a mom, that I haven't had time to WRITE about BEING one. So like any good mom...here I am 2 days later, up past my bedtime, snoring child upstairs safely tucked in her bed (home from college but I'd recognize that snore anywhere), dog asleep on my feet and a dish drainer of clean dishes in the sink (ok! I confess! The clean dishes are actually from yesterday...I ordered in pizza tonight and the paperplates are still on the table)...finally getting some ME time to blog:

I have been a mom now for 21 years. I have a confession to make to my child...I NEVER knew what I was doing. I had an excellent role model...my mom is the best, so at least I had that going for me.... but I was ALWAYS just kinda hoping for the best and doing what I could do without throwing up. Momming is hard work. Kids -- even smart kids -- shove raisins up their noses...they eat sand...they stick pads of butter on their heads in public places. The handbooks don't cover any of that. Its a wonder that any of us moms make it out alive. Our kids scream and stomp and yell and hit and cry and vomit and we try to not reciprocate though we feel the same -- THEY are only TWO and WE are the GROWN-UPS... it would be poor form.

We do ponytails and we make mudpies with ever changing recipes. We try to remember to say no when its right and not just when its popular. We show up at sports events and recitals and school productions and smile and clap wildly, eyes heavy from midnight mending sessions to make last minute uniform/costume alterations. We kiss boo-boos and mend hurt feelings. We struggle to let you learn from your own mistakes while hoping that we are learning from ours.

We see the sun rise while finishing science projects involving spewing volcanoes or making snacks for the party that children who forget nothing, forgot. We carpool, we volunteer, we fund-raise...all the while hoping that we are doing enough but not too much. We hold our children's hands and our own breath as they make life transitions and head for adulthood. We attempt to maintain control, if not over them, then over ourselves. We wince our way through driver's ed, dating and broken hearts wishing we could still heal everything with a band-aid and a kiss...

...and then...one day...they are gone. We look around our nest at the team photos on the mantle and the medals hanging in what will soon be the "guest room". We dig through shoe boxes full of memories that we thought we might someday organize into a scrapbook. Our work isn't finished, but the requirements of the job have changed and there is still no manual...no how-to...only more breath-holding and finger-crossing.

So on this (two days after) Mothers Day...I want to say:
to my mother -- I love you. Thank you for being the best mom a girl could ever want. You made it look easy.
And to my daughter: I love you. Someday you will celebrate Mother's Day from this side too and realize that everything you have read about raising children only works for other peoples children. Yours will be special...just like mine was...and just like Grandma's was. Hide the raisins, call for advice and remember, if you smile a lot, no one seems to notice that you have no clue what you are doing.

Today is a special day...

I have nothing fun or witty to say. I cant get past the tears that I keep running into whenever we get another update or tribute to those people killed at Virginia Tech on Monday. I am from Virginia and had my daughter not earned a scholarship to Missouri for gymnastics, her school of choice would have been VT. She'd have been a Hokie. (I should probably be thankful the Hokies dont have a gymnastics team though 3 years ago, I wished with all my heart that they did so she wouldnt be moving sooo far away.) Nik has friends at Tech..lots of them..thats a great in-state school...full of Hokie pride. All of her friends were safe and accounted for pretty early in the day on Monday. For that I was grateful...but not enough to make the tears go away. I knew none of the victims but as a mother, I have cried for everyone of them.

I remember 8 years ago...Columbine..I saw the news and then, along with many other scared, irrational parents, I went straight to my daughter's school and picked her up. She was safe, of course, but I was not. I could not stop thinking about how I had been able to protect her from harm as a little girl by putting her in her car seat or holding her hand when we crossed the street. I made her wear her bike helmet and taught her not to talk to strangers. That day however, while the parents of a dozen kids in Colorado faced an unthinkable situation, parents everywhere felt an unfathomable fear. We realized that we cannot protect our children from all the bad things. I am her mother but I cannot keep Nikki safe. The world is full of evil forces and the most I can do is make her aware, teach her caution and hope for the best.

After 9-11, Nik, more of a grown up by then, felt some of her own fear and mortality. She stopped saying goodbye to me on the phone. She never ended our conversations with anything other than "I love you Mom" in case that was the LAST thing we got to say to each other. She still does that and I am going to take her lead in this...I am gonna eat my dessert first sometimes, and I'm gonna call my best friend from elementary school who left me a message last month that I have yet to return. I'm gonna haul my "good" Noritake dishes out of the closet and use them for spaghetti tonight. That bottle of wine that I have been saving for a special time? Im gonna open it, curl up on the couch with the dog and call my daughter in Missouri... again.... and tell her I love her... again. It won't ever get more special than that.

Used Puppies

My "sucess letter" to the SPCA:

I had lost my Rottweiler, Brita, last October and was finally ready to get another dog. My daughter Nikki was home from college for the Christmas break so we had decided to see a breeder about getting a rott pup. I had the names and addresses of 3 breeders in my pocket, as a matter of fact, when I picked Nik up from an appointment near the Peninsula SPCA. We had some time to kill so we decided to stop and get some dog treats to feed the pound pups. Armed with cookies and chewies, we went from cage to cage, ignored signs (surely they weren't directed at US?) and stuck our hands through the bars and petted and fed the pups. We talked about how much fun it was going to be to pick out our own pup the next day.

..And then we saw HIM. He was laying with his back to the front of the cage & didnt look up to see us. I poked him. He was a beautiful colour. He didnt care that I poked him, so, of course, I poked him again. My daughter pointed out that his papers said he was a rott mix. Mixed with what? Something brown?

Nik said something to him and he turned his head to look at her. "Oh mom! Look how handsome he is!" Apparently he thought she was pretty too because he finally got up and paid attention to us. He was skinny and his ribs showed. His coat was dull but his eyes were full of hope and trust. He licked Nik's hand and then looked at me. I melted. Surely someone could not have dropped him off at a grocery store like his paperwork said? And certainly someone would be along soon to adopt him. I was just there to spread a little holiday cheer and doggie treats. I was getting a new puppy...not a used puppy. But he just kept looking at me...and somehow I knew that if I rescued this dog...he would rescue me right back.

I never did make it to the breeder's. On his adoption day, I was the only name on the list. I have no idea how that was even possible unless he wore his invisibility cloak when I wasnt there. I had the wrong paperwork that day, of course, and so the process took HOURS! Patience is a virtue...just not one of mine. All of this...for a dog no one wanted? I bit my tongue. I filled out new forms. I waited quasi-patiently.

Marley (named after Jacob not Bob) has been home now for 3 months. He weighed 35lbs when we got him -- he weighs about 60lbs now. He will sit. He will stay. He is fearless. He will not come when he is called though he loves to hear his name. He is the fastest dog I have ever seen and cannot be caught with out a decent bribe. He is an explorer. Last week he discovered the ocean and defended the planet from dry seaweed. Yesterday he ate a book on the coffee table (wasnt a fan of the Sweet Potato Queens apparently) and the day before he unwrapped a paint roller that I had on the counter and got white paint all over his paws and all over my hardwood floors. He is a handful...and a heartful. I love him and Im so grateful that we had time to kill that day.

Sincerely,
Marley's new mom,
Patti Brassard

Note to my dear reader(s): Used puppies are the bomb (does anyone still say that?). They are grateful for a new start and are absolutely, unconditionally loveable. New puppies are adorable and fluffy and cute. Used puppies are a harder sell but once there is one living on your couch, you'll see that I was right...they will save you right back...