OK... Im back.... Nine new things...

A general announcement to the people who care about me... I have finally started rehab and I think its a positive thing in my life. I am finally ready to admit I have a problem and cut back on my addiction and hopefully it will lead to me being productive again and get me back to the important things like this blog. And to the people who made it so easy for me to be easy distracted and allowed me to lose myself to this hideous addiction I can only say... shame on you!

In fairness, and in my defense, I didn't see it coming. It snuck up on me. Silent. Stealthy. And consumed me to the point of sleeplessness! Anyone who has faced this situation knows what I am talking about. I have sought out professional help prior to now but perhaps until now I didnt really WANT help.... I mean it always made me feel good and who was I really hurting? But today... today.... I have finally walked out of the fog and made a decision... I will no longer be a slave to MySpace!

And so I pledge the following Nine Things:

1. I will limit myself to updating photos once a week.... unless I catch Marley in some ubercute puppy pose which, of course, everyone needs to see right away!

2. I will check my messages only once or twice a day instead of every hour... on the hour.... for 45 minutes at a time.

3. I will NOT respond to EVERY survey that I get unless its REALLY important stuff like "who was your last text message from" or "what's your favourite colour".

4. I will stop logging on to see if any one who works for me is also logged on while they are suppose to be working.

5. I will stop looking for just the right smiley icon to indicate my mood -- besides they dont have enough choices anyway... like where are "quirky", "underwhelmed", "perky" and "oddly superior"??

6. I will stop searching for the right pimped out, glittery backgrounds to define who I am... obviously a quirky, perky underwhelmed yet oddly superior goddess. There just isn't enough glitter out there.

7. I will stop sending "comments" to people who are actually in the next room (Krista), people that I text message all day (Rach) or people that I would love to hear on the phone (Jules).

8. I will stop replying to "friend requests" that are from people in Bumpkiss, NV who just want to share a secret way to make me rich. I think it's possible that they don't really have my best interests in mind.

9. And I will stop stressing over who's feelings will be hurt if they are not in my Top 10 Friends list.... and I will stop wondering why I am not in their Top 10 Friends list either even though I am certain that I am a much better friend then the 10 people already listed there.

And so there it is... my plan to regain snippets of my life and get back to blogging!! Hmmm.... of course.... I just realized... I will have to go on MySpace and post a bulletin to let all my friends know that I am blogging again... and I might as well check my comments while I am there....and post that last picture I found of us dressed like pirates... and it would be kind of impolite not to answer Misty's survey....

Damn you, MyCrackSpace!!

Stopping to smell the flowers...

I am a big fan of the stopping to smell the flowers theory. Always have been. I use it to disguise the fact that I am not punctual... "Sorry I'm late...stopped to smell the flowers...". People seem okay with that -- although most people don't believe it and just start lying to me about start times which is probably easier in most situations. Today, however, there was stopping involved, and flowers but sniffing was not really an option....

I was walking my used pup, Marley (who is bigger and dumber than in earlier posts) when we stopped to see a whole field of flowers drawn on the sidewalk with chalk. They were quite lovely and made me smile! Made me want to go get out my set of sidewalk chalks myself (oh, you know I have 'em!). I'm no florist or horticulturist or whatever you call people who know about flowers but being able to identify the various species was unimportant. It was about the stopping so stop we did. I tiptoed through the tulips and daisies or whatever they were, careful not to smudge the petunias. It was delightful.

In all fairness, Marley did do a lot of sniffing on that walk so it was not entirely sniff-free but the point is there was stopping...and there were flowers....and I was late for work.

My Space for the hip & trendy

My friend (and I may be using that term loosely here) Krista made me get a MySpace page. I had no choice she explained to me. You wanna be hip and trendy, you do MySpace. So, of course, I have a MySpace page. Im hip. Im trendy. Relatively speaking.

So now people I can't remember from high school send me messages to "reconnect". Did I mention that I can't remember them? And guys who I have never met (who are obviously trolling MySpace looking for hip and trendy chicks) drop me a line asking to be my "friend". My first instinct here is: uh-oh... a guy who cant afford Match.com's monthly fees? Though, in all fairness, I merely took my Match.com profile (excuse me...they are now called "portraits") and cut and pasted it into MySpace. Lets face it. I can't keep up with all those lies (um...embellishments) if I have to make up new ones each time I have to describe myself to people. Blah blah blah long walks on the beach blah blah candlelight dinners blah blah blahbittyblah ....but I digress (as usual)....

So... back to MySpace (which, btw, is www.myspace.com/arty_pb)... I can "pimp" my MySpace page but I cant seem to find a background that says who I am -- you know -- hip and trendy and I think that if I create my own that I have crossed some sort of MySpace addiction line -- giving this whole thing waaay more time than is really healthy. So my page is non-pimped. Un-pimped. Pimp-free.

It is also music free because I havent figured out how to add music yet. I did, however, figure out how to add pictures so there's a boatload of pictures (yes....many are from my match.com profile/portrait thing) for people to look at. I have pictures of my pottery, my dog, my friends, my dog's friends and my dog's pottery. Ok, I made that last one up. My dog's pottery pictures are on HIS myspace page...which is pimped...he's hipper and trendier than me.

Used Puppies

My "sucess letter" to the SPCA:

I had lost my Rottweiler, Brita, last October and was finally ready to get another dog. My daughter Nikki was home from college for the Christmas break so we had decided to see a breeder about getting a rott pup. I had the names and addresses of 3 breeders in my pocket, as a matter of fact, when I picked Nik up from an appointment near the Peninsula SPCA. We had some time to kill so we decided to stop and get some dog treats to feed the pound pups. Armed with cookies and chewies, we went from cage to cage, ignored signs (surely they weren't directed at US?) and stuck our hands through the bars and petted and fed the pups. We talked about how much fun it was going to be to pick out our own pup the next day.

..And then we saw HIM. He was laying with his back to the front of the cage & didnt look up to see us. I poked him. He was a beautiful colour. He didnt care that I poked him, so, of course, I poked him again. My daughter pointed out that his papers said he was a rott mix. Mixed with what? Something brown?

Nik said something to him and he turned his head to look at her. "Oh mom! Look how handsome he is!" Apparently he thought she was pretty too because he finally got up and paid attention to us. He was skinny and his ribs showed. His coat was dull but his eyes were full of hope and trust. He licked Nik's hand and then looked at me. I melted. Surely someone could not have dropped him off at a grocery store like his paperwork said? And certainly someone would be along soon to adopt him. I was just there to spread a little holiday cheer and doggie treats. I was getting a new puppy...not a used puppy. But he just kept looking at me...and somehow I knew that if I rescued this dog...he would rescue me right back.

I never did make it to the breeder's. On his adoption day, I was the only name on the list. I have no idea how that was even possible unless he wore his invisibility cloak when I wasnt there. I had the wrong paperwork that day, of course, and so the process took HOURS! Patience is a virtue...just not one of mine. All of this...for a dog no one wanted? I bit my tongue. I filled out new forms. I waited quasi-patiently.

Marley (named after Jacob not Bob) has been home now for 3 months. He weighed 35lbs when we got him -- he weighs about 60lbs now. He will sit. He will stay. He is fearless. He will not come when he is called though he loves to hear his name. He is the fastest dog I have ever seen and cannot be caught with out a decent bribe. He is an explorer. Last week he discovered the ocean and defended the planet from dry seaweed. Yesterday he ate a book on the coffee table (wasnt a fan of the Sweet Potato Queens apparently) and the day before he unwrapped a paint roller that I had on the counter and got white paint all over his paws and all over my hardwood floors. He is a handful...and a heartful. I love him and Im so grateful that we had time to kill that day.

Sincerely,
Marley's new mom,
Patti Brassard

Note to my dear reader(s): Used puppies are the bomb (does anyone still say that?). They are grateful for a new start and are absolutely, unconditionally loveable. New puppies are adorable and fluffy and cute. Used puppies are a harder sell but once there is one living on your couch, you'll see that I was right...they will save you right back...