9 things that smell like summer to me...

1. Mojitos - I'm from the South...i dunno if you other people (phrase meaning ALL non-Southerners) even drink Mojitos but there something about the smell of the crushed mint (which I am told is done quite humanely) that makes me wish I had a veranda and a BFF named Scarlett.

2. Cut grass - I probably don't need to point out that this is the smell of the neighbour's cut grass...not mine...since my grass is part of an agricultural experiment gone horribly awry.

3. Coconuts - as in tanning oils AND umbrella drinks. No real difference there except too many umbrella drinks may cause you to forget the tanning oil and then the only thing you can smell is your own burning flesh (but I digress).

4. Sweat - which I wish was eminating from a sexy shirtless cabana boy named Raoul but instead is coming from a fat salesman from Minnesota named Ned who is two towels away from me on the beach but sadly upwind.

5. Seagull poop - yeah yeah... you other people may not know the smell but other similar version can be found in NYC (pigeon poop) and Capistrano (What? You thought swallows didn't poop?)

6. Carny food - This envelopes all the fried food that you get at outdoor events in the summer and includes (but is not limited to) corn dogs, funnel cake and fried twinkies. Its the same grease, regardless of selection, and its the same smell and I want one of each, thankyouverymuch!

7. Testosterone - A smell for all season actually though the summer version (when mixed with #4) is perhaps the most potent. Usually found at popular athletic events such as beach volleyball, baseball, and keg throwing.

8. Jetta engine - This would be the smell of my sporty little 10 yr old import overheating. Where does the water go anyway?

9. Vinyl - As in beach balls, floaties, pool chairs, fake palm trees and anything else which requires Herculean lung-power to huff and/or puff to inflate. May also include the blow-up mattress in the guest room of my apartment which is a popular resort destination only because i live 10 minutes from sand and water and I make a fabulous #1.