9 possible blog themes

As I pointed out in an earlier post, I am a theme-less blogger....and, trust me, I am okay with that (underachiever that I am) but it has been brought to my attention that blogging can be a JOB! One can make money BLOGGING..... if... one has... oh, perhaps....a marketable THEME....that attracts readers.... and thus sponsors. I have to say that I like the flexi-blogger schedule and so I am gonna look into this...
Here is a list of things I'm tossing about...

1. Stuff my Dog Ate Blog: This would have to be interactive with people sending stories and pics of stuff their dogs ate since I am quickly running outta stuff for my dog to eat and he will, finally, have to resort to that stuff I keep in his bowl... you know...the DOG FOOD and that doesn't make for an interesting blog after the first couple of days.
Possible sponsors: Dr. Scholl's and Purina

2. Dead Roadside Animals I have Known Blog: This could also be interactive with people sending stories and pics of stuff they found on the side of the road. It might be more popular with people who live in areas where one can actually hit stuff other than people. NYCers will not get this. Everyone in Upstate NY will start digging through boxes of photos.
Possible sponsors: AAA and any restaurant in West Virginia.

3. Blogging for Beer: I could write reviews of a different beer everyday. Oh wait... I don't really drink beer. Hm... perhaps Cosmo reviews. Oh wait... what would I write on the second day? And would I even remember to blog on the third day? So..um...maybe no....
Possible sponsors: AA and any Karaoke bar.

4. Things I Overheard in a Bar Blog: Actually Rach and I could co-blog this one. She has ears like a dog (in ability not in shape). We could start with the one where the guy tells Rach (aka Officer L.) about his brother sending a $400 bong from Amsterdam through the mail or the guy who admitted to defecating in his pants on occasion. Upside is that all research would be in a BAR. Downside is that research could lead to a pricey BAR TAB.
Possible sponsors: Goodfellas or The TapHouse.

5. Drunk Food Blog: OK, that's as close to a cooking blog as I could come... unfortunately, I'm pretty sure that the people who are logging onto the web at 3:00 am are hardly ever looking for a good drunk food recipe...
Possible sponsors: Jack Daniels and Trojan

6. Bad Internet Dating Dates Blog: Heck I have enough stories to tell without making this one interactive for awhile... I could start with the guy who hacked my computer... the guy who took the plate of sample shrimp from the grocery store.... the guy who....guess I should save something for the blog. Hockey Boy could guest blog with his own stories.
Possible sponsors: Think I could get Match.com to be a sponsor? Ahem.

7. On-hold Muzak Review Blog: Can I just say that a utility that makes you wait 10-20 minutes before talking to a human (who inevitably will have an Indian accent) should be held to a higher standard of muzak? Who are the people who write this bland, quasi- jazzish "music"? I think people wanna know this kind of stuff.
Possible sponsors: Time Life Hits of Boxcar Willie or Sprint.

8. A Day in the Life of... Blog: Each day I pick a different celebrity and tell the readers what I think it would be like to be them. If I can't find interesting people, I'll make them up. Might be easier to do that anyway since the rehab centers probably wont give me visitation privileges.
Possible sponsors: See #5

9. Dumb Stuff I Did Today Blog: Oh wait... that's kinda what I do now....

What did he say?

You know that Daughtry song "Home"? Of course you do... it has been played every half hour on every radio station on the planet for ages now... and it was the kiss off song on American Idol which you know you watched even after our local boy Chris Whatshisname was kicked off.

Well last week one of my precious little summer art campers was singing along:

"Be careful what you wish for
cause you just might get IT ALL
you just might get IT ALL..."

Except she actually sang:
"Be careful what you wish for
cause you just might get A DOG
you just might get A DOG..."

As the owner of a outofcontrol, areyoutalkingtome used pup, I have to say, singing the new version in my head has made it easier for me to listen to it play 20 times a day...

9 things that make me smile...

1. Little girls in supermarkets wearing tutus: Extra smiles if cowboy boots are an accessory to the tutu. You almost have to laugh out loud when you realize that her mom is saving up for a bigger, more important fight sometime in the future (like a tramp stamp tattoo or dating the guy with the bone through his nose) than what to wear to the grocery store. Smart lady. (And when/why did I stop feeling like wearing a tutu to the store?)

2. Sidewalk chalk art: I love any type of creative drawing and even when you see abandoned sidewalk drawings...if you are very quite...you can hear the giggling. Shh. Listen....

3. Lemonade stands on the corner: Just have to love when capitalism meets Skippy, the neighbor's kid. Buy a glass. Ask for a refill. Someday all of this will be his. Best to suck up now.

4. Bikers who strap stuffed animals to their Harleys: Its always the biggest, baddest, long-haired, tattooed biker too. And a it's fuzzy teddy bear... sometimes in a matching Harley jacket. I'm not sure what the deal is but I will say that it never fails to make me smile. Ever.

5. Bubbles: I love to blow bubbles. Marley, my used pup, loves to chase bubbles. We are both, obviously, easily amused. You see bubbles at weddings now instead of rice (is that exploding bird thing even real or just a myth created by the people who have to sweep up after?). Point being...I think bubbles are good, clean (haha) fun.

6. Moms wearing macaroni necklaces: Usually seen for a few days after Mother's Day. The more glitter on the macaroni... the bigger the smile from me.

7. Baby anythings: puppies, ducklings, even humans...as long as they are someone else's...and sleeping...awwwww

8. Big guys with little dogs: Somewhere on a couch, amid the bonbons, sits a princess who has that guy so whipped that he is willing to "walk" her precious pooch in public. Hey, musclehead... a chiwawa or a min pin can NOT be macho even if she name him "Brutus"... which she didn't... so you have to call him "Boopsie"...even in public.. hehehe

9. Well thought out vanity plates: I"m not talking RED CAR or BOBS VW here... personally I think you should be able to shoot those guys with BB GUNS. I'm talking something that makes me think... challenges me while I'm stuck in traffic in a car with no A/C and no radio... My personal best was WUDA BCH (which the DMV girl thought was "wooooo da beach" which is NOT what anyone who knows me thought). Hockey Boy once had PINOT NV (remember he used to be Wine Guy). How about this one...GR82SH? OK, you 8 faithful readers... whatcha got?... go ahead, make me smile....

Shameless self promotion

I have a new page just for my art at myartspace.com

(okay... so the url is actually http://www.myartspace.com/artistInfo.do?populatinglist=home&subscriberid=20gewebl49skcwk1 but who can remember that? Just click the link up there or search for me by artist name: Brassard)

Don't judge... I'm still working on it!

Thanks!

Ah... the pressures of having a blog...

It was brought to my attention by my newest reader and former BFF that I don't blog everyday and therefore leave her with a hole in her day. Apparently, I am single-handedly responsible for taking up a few minutes of her time at work and without my witty musings she is forced to...well...work I guess. My apologies, Michele and I suggest you check out YouTube for cute videos about chiwawas on those days I don't blog. Try this one.
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During the same conversation, someone asked me what the "theme" of my blog was. Hmm... theme? Am I suppose to have a theme? Really? I'm gonna have to think about that one and get back to you on it.

Of course the hardest part of blogging isn't that I really have nothing interesting to say.. you all know that already. I should end all my stories with "...and then I found 5 bucks" to make it seem at least slightly interesting but not many of you would be fooled. No, the hardest part is remembering who reads this stuff and making sure that I don't say something wrong. Hockey Boy reads it so I try not to ramble on about.. well, stuff that might make him blush. And if I said anything that might make HIM blush, imagine what it would do to my daughter (who probably reads my blog in a quiet dark corner with lots of denial about her heritage) and my mom (who thankfully hasn't taught my father how to access my blog). I don't think I could say anything to embarrass the rest of you though you can rest assured that I will continue to try to think of something.

So... I continue to babble on about my life and thoughts in a somewhat watered-down version of reality... or maybe it's my life that is really watered-down... hey, wait.... is that a theme?

Somethings are too important...

Just passing information about how insurance companies are treating mastectomy patients (its appalling) that I read on LV's blog ...which I assume you are all as addicted to as I am... what? I put a link up for you guys a couple of weeks ago... see?... its right over there...to the right.... your other right, doofus.... go there when you finish reading here... everyday, not just now... you never know when she might actually find time amid running the world and being SuperMom to finding time to wittily blog again....but I digress....as usual....

If you don't have time to read LV's blog, just go straight to this petition.
Sign it. Pass it on. What are you waiting for?

Thanks.

Relationship Revelation

It was a bit windy as Hockey Boy and I sat waiting for Tanya Tucker to finish singing so that the fireworks could start at Fort Monroe. There were small children running amok with blinkie, battery-operated dolphin & starfish necklaces and people chatting all around us so it made having a conversation a bit hard at times.

Me: I wish I had a blinkie thing.
HB: I was gonna bring one.
Me: Really? You have a blinkie thing?
HB: Oh. No, I thought you said "blanket".

And while the fireworks exploded overhead, ladies and gentlemen, I realized that I finally had a summary of my relationship with this boy.... I am a blinkie thing and he is a blanket.

I am frivolous and scattered. He is focused and organized.

I am a Type Q to his Type A personality.

I can name all the members of the Rolling Stones. He has actually met them and can still only remember Mick What's-his-name.

He knows the five mother sauces and I don't even know what a mother sauce is, let alone possess the ability to name all five (and are there father sauces, I wonder?)

He folds clothes as they come out of the warm dryer. I wear the wrinkled clothes thinking it will be dark where I'm going...who will notice? And even if they do, who would be rude enough to tell me i looked like I slept in my outfit?

He washes his/my/my friend's car... regularly. I have empty McD bags stuffed in between my back seats that are older than my dog.

He is Abercrombie & Fitch. I am Allcrumbly & Bitch.

He watches sports on a wide screen TV with 3 different remotes and a strict sequence of button pushing that makes sense only to someone who understands how to launch the space shuttle. I have been known to start a good book while I waited for reinforcements when I couldn't figure out how to get the blue screen that says LINE 1 to turn into a TV show. I am not sure what LINE 1 is (besides blue) or if I have (or need) more LINES.

He is single-handedly keeping alive the posies that my dad planted for me. I forget to dust the plastic decorative tree in the living room.

Sure... we have a lot in common as well...like...for example...don’t rush me....ah, he likes to cook FOOD and I like to eat FOOD...so we have going for us. And the dog likes us both though he has been known to play favorite depending on which of us has the treats. And, of course, there are a few things that we both enjoy that I would mention if I didn't know that my daughter AND my mother read my blog.

So how have we ended up together? Easy... as he reached for my hand during the fireworks finale... I realized that even a blanket kinda boy needs a little blinkie thing once in awhile.

Happy 4th!

Toe-say can you see.....

Giving credit/blame where it's due: The patriotic toenail painting was Hockey Boy's idea. The bad intro into my version of the National Anthem was all me, of course.

Special note to Hockey Boy and Rach: You guys were right. Now that I have seen them in a photo, I have to agree that its time to let the sandals go. This weekend I will search for a new pair in earnest (note that that is a lowercase "e"... not an uppercase "E"... I will not be shoe shopping in an actual person....unless, of course, they are cheaper and/or cuter that way).