Dualing Me

I have been kinda sorta dating again for a few years now. I am exhausted. I have cyber-dated, been hooked up by well-meaning friends and picked guys up in bars. I am torn, like most women dating in their 40s, by the fact that Relationship Girl and Single Chick (my two innner/alter egos) cannot agree on what I want in a man. You would think it would be the same thing....and yet....it doesn't seem to work that way....for example:

Relationship Girl want someone who will take her hand in public, hold her chair and open her doors. Single Chick is hoping someone will grab her ass and whisper lewd suggestions for later fun and games.

RG wants to share a glass of wine with a nice guy on the porch during a rainstorm. SC wants to drink Ghetto cosmos and shoot whiskey with beer chasers with a guy who can remember the punch line to a dirty joke.

RG wants to wake up and find a love note from her man on the nightstand. SC wants to wake up and follow the trail of her clothes back out into the living room...kitchen....um... front door.

RG wants to meet all his friends and bond with them as The One He Adores. SC wonders how many of his friends will actually hit on her while he's in the bathroom.

RG is looking for a guy with great eyes, a soft voice who tells her that he can see being The One in her life. SC is wants a guy with a nice butt, a flirty, wicked attitude who tells her that he can't wait to see her naked.

Relationship girl has been looking for awhile for The One (though she continues to tell everyone that she isn't). Single Chick hopes that The One can keep up with her (knowing that he can't be The One if he can't).

My eternal optimism keeps me believing that The One is out there somewhere (perhaps in a condo by the beach)... and he is looking for The One He Adores (instead of The One Who Stalks)... that he has his own Relationship Guy and Single Dude battles to deal with... I think it might be nice to double date with them.